What do I remember?

November 12th

Today is a good day to reminisce. Ok, every day is a good day to remember something of anything. But on a day like today, when the low sky with ominous clouds shortens and obscures the horizon and by it the ability to look forward, there is really no choice but to look backward.

Constant drizzle and wind, which feels like it is blowing upwards from the ground and gets underneath the warm jacket, keep the spirits close to the ground. Not grounded, but spilling only horizontally over the already wet soil, full of the still somewhat colorful decay of autumn leaves.

Today I remembered a part of a sentence I read in a book. I don't remember which book it was. I don't remember the vast majority of books I read already. What I can recall are some parts of a plot or an implied mood, some titles or names of authors. Shamefully, very few names at that.

“remorselessly accumulating cemeteries of memories”

That is the part of a sentence I remembered. Or maybe it was the full sentence? There is no closer recollection of any more details for me than just those words above. Now, I think it was a complete sentence — I don't think there is a possibility or a need to add any more words to it.

I think this is a phenomenally beautiful sentence. It requires a special gift and well-honed wordsmith craft to put so much meaning in just a few simple words. Words that describe us and our minds and our lives in an arresting way. It is a pity I don't recall anymore who wrote them.

Maybe I never did remember the name of the author. Maybe I remembered it just until I put the book away after unconsciously compartmenting those words somewhere inside the recesses of my mind, to lay there in wait for years or decades, only to be effortlessly recollected today.

Not even recollected — those words appeared in my mind without any effort from myself. And why would I make any effort to recall those particular words? Since I forgot I knew them, I couldn't try to remember them. And yet, they materialized in my internal monologue today.

I could probably look up these words in an online search engine. I could then get the name of the book and the name of the author. Having that, I could narrow down the time period when it was most likely for me to read these words. I could then embed the memory in a particular place.

I will not do that.