Who is lying now, or mirrors (part 11)

May 9th, 2024

“Mirrors and copulation are abominable, since they both multiply the numbers of men.”

“I saw all the mirrors on earth and none of them reflected me…”

(both quotes from “Collected Fictions” by Jorge Luis Borges)

I am so vain that I cannot stop thinking and writing about myself. And I cannot stop looking at myself in mirrors, or any other reflective surface. I tell myself that it is not quite vanity per se, but a scientific endeavor. I have a long-standing issue with mirrors and their lies and awful multiplication. By looking at myself in different mirrors, I can get closer to the bottom of the truth. The two-pronged truth — what exactly do I look like and do I actually have a reflection at all?

And I have done exactly that today — before I got to where I was supposed to be, I looked at myself in the mirror in the bathroom at work. Then I looked at myself in the rear-view mirror in my car. Then I looked at my reflection in the car door window. Then, for good measure, I looked at myself in the shop window as I was walking along. I thought I had a good idea of what I looked like this afternoon. But then I sat in a barber chair and looked again at the huge mirror in front of me, and was shocked.

I looked different than I did just five minutes ago. My face was much longer than I thought I knew. It was much more proportional than the idea of what I look like that was embedded in my mind. The basic shape and contours were mine, but all the details were off. I understand that barber shop mirrors are supposed to be made in a way to reflect only the good side of the person in front. And that is my problem with the whole situation — if I cannot trust inanimate objects like mirrors, what exactly can I trust? My deceiving eyes? That is a tall order, and I don't feel ready for it.